


are you dead?

by novelDaydreamer



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Depression, Gen, Grief, Non-Canonical Character Death, These people are in a horror universe and they know it, chatfic, seriously this is not a happy fic, suicide kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-14
Updated: 2019-09-21
Packaged: 2020-10-18 11:55:41
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 3,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20638760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/novelDaydreamer/pseuds/novelDaydreamer
Summary: Some worlds you daydream about waking up in. Some, you really, really don't.TheDaveConspiracy: Weekly check-in time! Everybody sound off.Antumbra Willow: Not deadsaleency: presentGuessIllDie: Existing in a neverending state of existential dread.





	1. December, 2014

TheDaveConspiracy: Weekly check-in time! Everybody sound off.

Antumbra Willow: Not dead

saleency: present

GuessIllDie: Existing in a neverending state of existential dread.

TheDaveConspiracy: Mike.

Antumbra Willow: More of one than usual?

GuessIllDie: Nah.

saleency: i saw brave yesterday

saleency: i think they might have plans tonight?

TheDaveConspiracy: I’ll give them until tomorrow.

saleency: so hey question

Antumbra Willow: ?

TheDaveConspiracy: Yeah?

saleency: do you think it’s safe to watch movies where neil lagorio did the special effects?

saleency: because a ton of people have watched them and some of the scifi look really good

saleency: but given the givens

Antumbra Willow: I actually have no idea whether I’ve seen any or not

Antumbra Willow: I had some new old movies on my shelf, and I didn’t actually check who did the special effects

Antumbra Willow: It’s probably fine?

GuessIllDie: I’m not planning on risking it.

TheDaveConspiracy: Given the huge cultural impact that his movies have had, they’re probably harmless to watch.

TheDaveConspiracy: I would suggest staying away from the horror movies.

saleency: well yeah

Antumbra Willow: That’s just good advice generally

saleency: but apparently beyond time is one of those movies that everyone into scifi has seen and i’m really curious

GuessIllDie: Your funeral.

TheDaveConspiracy: Mike.

Antumbra Willow: Want to watch it together? I’m not doing anything tomorrow night

saleency: sure!

saleency: i’ll order pizza

Bravenough: Sorry!!! On a date, didn’t want to keep checking my phone at the table.

Bravenough: I’m alive!

Bravenough: Who’s Neil Lagorio again?

Antumbra Willow: You were mid-season 3, right?

Bravenough: A bit over halfway through, yeah.

TheDaveConspiracy: I’ll give you a summary on Thursday.

GuessIllDie: Think spiders.

TheDaveConspiracy: Mike.

Bravenough: Okay! Good to know.

Bravenough: They made movies?

TheDaveConspiracy: I will explain in person.

saleency: how’s the date?

Bravenough: He’s okay! Kind of boring so far, but nothing really wrong with him. No red flags!

saleency: that’s a really low bar but cool

Antumbra Willow: Should we call it something else instead of red flags?

Bravenough: Oh I meant nothing normal wrong, but that too!

Bravenough: Going back to date, will check in later!

saleency: neon flags maybe?

saleency: black flags?

Antumbra Willow: I like black flags

Antumbra Willow: That’s what pirates flew right?

Antumbra Willow: It feels appropriate

GuessIllDie: Eldritch horror flags?

GuessIllDie: Give up now you’re going to die flags?

TheDaveConspiracy: Mike, we have rules for a reason.

GuessIllDie: Fuck off.

Antumbra Willow: …

Antumbra Willow: Pizza tomorrow sounds good Sal

Antumbra Willow: Do you like vegetarian?

saleency: vegetarian works


	2. March, 2015

GuessIllDie: So is anybody going to talk about the huge fucking elephant in the chat room?

saleency: have you heard from him?

GuessIllDie: If I had, it wouldn’t be a huge fucking elephant.

Bravenough: Maybe he just got caught up?

GuessIllDie: Right.

GuessIllDie: Because he does the “Weekly check-in!” like clockwork every Saturday for six months.

GuessIllDie: Even if we are literally all sitting in the same fucking room.

GuessIllDie: And then gets “caught up” for two days without a word to anyone.

GuessIllDie: And it’s all perfectly fine.

Bravenough: He could be sick maybe?

Bravenough: If he’s in the hospital, he might not have his phone on him!

GuessIllDie: Right, I’m sure he just picked up a parasite.

Bravenough: Die can you not be terrible for five minutes

saleency: when was the last time you saw him?

saleency: he was fine on wednesday

GuessIllDie: He was texting me on Friday.

GuessIllDie: If it was him.

Bravenough: We had lunch on Thursday. He seemed fine to me!

saleency: does anyone know what he was planning on doing saturday?

GuessIllDie: Nope.

Bravenough: He might have been running errands? That's what he usually does on Saturday.

saleency: willow are you actually here?

Antumbra Willow: Sorry

Antumbra Willow: Didn't know what to say

Antumbra Willow: He hasn't texted me since Thursday, but that's not unusual

saleency: until the check-in

Antumbra Willow: Yeah

GuessIllDie: Great, so we know he got grabbed Friday or Saturday.

GuessIllDie: Incredibly helpful.

Bravenough: We don’t know that!

Bravenough: Has anyone been to his apartment?

saleency: yes

GuessIllDie: What the fuck do you think.

saleency: he didn't answer.

saleency: when did you go?

GuessIllDie: Sunday morning.

saleency: saturday night for me.

Bravenough: I can go by his office tomorrow? See if he's told them anything.

Antumbra Willow: He would have told us if something was wrong

Antumbra Willow: Wouldn't he?

Antumbra Willow: We all know the signs

saleency: if there were signs.

saleency: there aren't always

Bravenough: It’s been literally two days, stop talking like he's dead!

Antumbra Willow: Sorry

Bravenough: I'll ask about him at work tomorrow. And we can call around to the hospitals, maybe someone brought him in or something.

saleency: that's a good idea.

saleency: does anybody know if he keeps a spare key?

Antumbra Willow: I've got it

Antumbra Willow: Can someone come with me?

GuessIllDie: Sure, why not.

GuessIllDie: Give the monster a bigger snack.

Antumbra Willow: Thanks

saleency: i'll come too

Bravenough: I have class this evening, but I can skip it.

saleency: go to class brave.

saleency: we’ll tell you what we find.

Antumbra Willow: How long does it need to be before we call the actual cops?

GuessIllDie: You could make a report now.

GuessIllDie: But I can tell you nobody is going to give a shit about some random 20-something with no risk factors taking off for a few days.

saleency: willow, do you mind if i

saleency: um

saleency: you know what never mind

Antumbra Willow: Sleep at my place tonight?

saleency: yeah

Antumbra Willow: Please


	3. May, 2015

saleency: the worst part of getting thrown into the past of an alternate reality is that none of my shows are on.

saleency: i mean not really

saleency: but

Antumbra Willow: It's the part annoying you most right now

saleency: yeah that

Antumbra Willow: I know what you mean

Antumbra Willow: It's bad enough when they just don't exist yet, at least I can re-watch early seasons or older shows

Antumbra Willow: But then there are the ones that just go wrong partway through and you don't know what changed

saleency: at least those ones are interesting though

saleency: kind of makes me wish i knew more pop trivia

Bravenough: I know some of them are because one of the actors died. Or didn't die sometimes, those are cool!

Bravenough: But it is kind of disturbing when you’re watching a movie you like and then one of the characters is the wrong actor.

Antumbra Willow: Or the plot veers off in the wrong direction

Antumbra Willow: Some of them are better directions, but it’s still weird

saleency: i can’t really complain about supernatural stopping at season 5

Antumbra Willow: I can

Antumbra Willow: But let’s not have that debate again

saleency: probably wise

GuessIllDie: Hey.

GuessIllDie: Guess what I got.

Bravenough: Do we want to?

GuessIllDie: Sectioned.

Antumbra Willow: What

Bravenough: Are you okay???

saleency: shit

saleency: what happened?

Antumbra Willow: Are you even done training yet?

GuessIllDie: Probationary.

GuessIllDie: Three fucking weeks on the actual job.

GuessIllDie: Ask me if I’m surprised.

saleency: what happened?

GuessIllDie: Can’t tell you.

GuessIllDie: Signed the form.

saleency: mike come on

Bravenough: Are you hurt??

GuessIllDie: Nope.

GuessIllDie: Just a terrible fucking day.

saleency: if you can’t tell us exactly can you at least tell us the general cause?

saleency: or if it’s likely to come after you?

GuessIllDie: Thank you so much for that.

saleency: sorry

saleency: but you were already thinking it.

GuessIllDie: Fuck I don’t know.

GuessIllDie: Corruption.

GuessIllDie: Or End.

GuessIllDie: Didn’t touch anything.

Bravenough: That’s good!

Antumbra Willow: You’ll tell us if anything happens, right?

GuessIllDie: No, I told you this shit because I want to vanish into nowhere like Dave.

GuessIllDie: Fuck

Antumbra Willow: I can be there in half an hour

Antumbra Willow: If you’re home

GuessIllDie: It’s not fucking home

GuessIllDie: Bring alcohol.


	4. August, 2015

Bravenough: How many cobwebs is too many cobwebs?

saleency: depends where you are

saleency: but if you have to ask i would say get out of there

Antumbra Willow: Seconding!

Antumbra Willow: Brave?

saleency: respond please

Bravenough: Okay never mind this is definitely too many cobwebs!

Antumbra Willow: Brave get out of there

Bravenough: Going!

saleency: where are you?

Antumbra Willow: I think they're supposed to be in class right now?

saleency: that ended at 10

Antumbra Willow: Or that might have been this morning I don’t know

Antumbra Willow: Oh

saleency: brave please update

Antumbra Willow: But get out first

saleency: yeah that

Bravenough: Out!!!

Antumbra Willow: Oh thank god

saleency: where are you?

Antumbra Willow: Keep moving get away from the building

Bravenough: Embroidery club moved the meeting, there were directions but no address.

Antumbra Willow: That sounds like a bad sign Brave

Antumbra Willow: Black flag

Bravenough: Well I know that *now*

Bravenough: But I checked with Jordan they got the same email and they said it's moved before!

saleency: jordan?

Bravenough: I don't think you know them?

Bravenough: Hang on that's their car

Bravenough: There are a few cars here.

Antumbra Willow: Brave get out of there

Bravenough: I don't see any of the others I think they're inside

saleency: send an email tell them you're sick and get out of there

Bravenough: What if something's got them??

saleency: then that sucks and i'm sorry but you need to get yourself safe

Bravenough: None of them even know there's anything to be scared of!!!

Bravenough: I can't just leave

Antumbra Willow: Brave please don't do this

Antumbra Willow: Emery

Antumbra Willow: Please

GuessIllDie: Emery don't be a fucking idiot.

GuessIllDie: We don't need another Dave.

saleency: where are you?

saleency: just give me a street name or a direction or something

Bravenough: It might be fine!

Antumbra Willow: Then there's no point and you can apologize tomorrow!

Bravenough: I have to check I might be able to do something

GuessIllDie: You have no plan, no weapons, no backup and no fucking chance against a spider thing.

GuessIllDie: Get. Away.

Antumbra Willow: Please just get out

saleency: em?

saleency: em tell us where you are

saleency: emery please


	5. September, 2015

saleency: found the right jordan

saleency: they said they probably saved their life

saleency: em did

saleency: so that's something

Antumbra Willow: That's good

Antumbra Willow: I hope they knew

saleency: yeah

saleency: has mike been talking to you?

Antumbra Willow: A bit

Antumbra Willow: Not to you?

saleency: not since the "Not dead yet." on saturday

Antumbra Willow: He's about as okay as we are I think

saleency: yeah

saleency: have you been keeping track of the days?

Antumbra Willow: Not really

Antumbra Willow: It's been almost a year, hasn't it?

saleency: a year yesterday

saleency: happy belated anniversary i guess

Antumbra Willow: Not sure it's really a cake occasion

saleency: my first thought was at least we're still alive

saleency: but

Antumbra Willow: Yeah

Antumbra Willow: Do you want to do something?

Antumbra Willow: We could go somewhere tomorrow

saleency: could you just come over?

saleency: watch comfort movies maybe

saleency: ones that didn't change

Antumbra Willow: That sounds nice

Antumbra Willow: Can I ask a bad question?

saleency: go for it

Antumbra Willow: Do you think we're cursed?

Antumbra Willow: Because there are just so many people in the world that never run into the powers and don't know anything about them

Antumbra Willow: And then we show up and it's already three times in one year

Antumbra Willow: Do you think we even have a chance?

saleency: i don't know

saleency: i think maybe it's because we know what to look for that we ran into so many of them

saleency: because we can't just ignore it and look away

Antumbra Willow: Knowledge is only power here if you serve an evil Eye

saleency: i guess

Antumbra Willow: Maybe they think we're tastier because we already know what to be afraid of

Antumbra Willow: So we're already afraid

saleency: are you okay?

Antumbra Willow: Not really

Antumbra Willow: It's been a really bad year

saleency: yeah

saleency: can you promise me something?

Antumbra Willow: ?

saleency: promise me that you're not going to just vanish like dave

saleency: or do something stupid and brave like em

saleency: or stop talking to me

Antumbra Willow: I don't think I can actually promise that

Antumbra Willow: I'm sorry

saleency: it's okay

saleency: i guess none of us can


	6. October, 2015

Antumbra Willow: I have a confession to make

Antumbra Willow: ...

Antumbra Willow: I guess that’s long enough to wait

Antumbra Willow: I was pretty sure you wouldn’t be up

Antumbra Willow: That’s the whole reason I’m writing this at 3 am

Antumbra Willow: One of the reasons

Antumbra Willow: I’ve been looking at book shops

Antumbra Willow: And thrift shops, and old libraries, and pretty much anywhere there might be books

Antumbra Willow: And I’d say I didn’t know what I was looking for, but we both know that would be a lie

Antumbra Willow: I’d say I never expected to actually find one

Antumbra Willow: But that would be a lie too

Antumbra Willow: I kind of

Antumbra Willow: I

Antumbra Willow: Dave could have been just bad luck.

Antumbra Willow: But then Mike got sectioned so fast, and Emery

Antumbra Willow: Did I ever tell you I went to a dark sky preserve once?

Antumbra Willow: They’re so people can see what the stars actually look like without light pollution

Antumbra Willow: We were there to stargaze, but the forecast was wrong and it got really cloudy

Antumbra Willow: It wasn’t like being in a room with blackout curtains, there just wasn’t any light except our flashlights anywhere it might actually reach us

Antumbra Willow: We turned off our flashlights for a minute, just to see what it was like

Antumbra Willow: …

Antumbra Willow: This is harder than I thought it would be

Antumbra Willow: But I guess you can probably tell where I’m going

Antumbra Willow: I found one

Antumbra Willow: There isn’t any title, but it’s bound in something that feels kind of like black velvet, and it has the bookplate

Antumbra Willow: And it just

Antumbra Willow: It kind of feels right

Antumbra Willow: So, full confession:

Antumbra Willow: I’m going to read it

Antumbra Willow: I’m going to give myself to the Dark

Antumbra Willow: I’m not planning on going to find Rayner or anything, I’m not the cult type, and he’s kind of skeevy

Antumbra Willow: And I honestly don’t even know if I’m going to walk away an Avatar or if it’s just going to kill me or something else I can’t even imagine

Antumbra Willow: But I think one of them is going to get me anyway, so I’m going to pick this one

Antumbra Willow: I’m sorry

Antumbra Willow: I know I’m being a coward by not telling you when you can argue with me

Antumbra Willow: And I’m sorry for leaving you to deal with all of this, because whatever happens we probably won’t be seeing each other again

Antumbra Willow: But I just feel like I have to choose this now, or I’ll never get a chance to choose at all

Antumbra Willow: I’m scared, Nicki

Antumbra Willow: But I think that’s kind of the point

Antumbra Willow: Goodbye.

-

saleency: did she send you one?

GuessIllDie: Yep.

GuessIllDie: No sign of her.

saleency: fuck


	7. November-December, 2015

saleency: are you dead?

GuessIllDie: What?

GuessIllDie: Oh right.

GuessIllDie: Not yet.

GuessIllDie: Just got distracted.

saleency: must be something pretty distracting

-

saleency: mike?

GuessIllDie: Fuck’s sake.

GuessIllDie: It’s not even time yet.

saleency: sorry

-

GuessIllDie: Not dead yet.

saleency: no me neither

GuessIllDie: Great.

saleency: i might have found the book willow had

saleency: not in person, but someone made a forum post about a book that sounds like it

saleency: no details about what it actually did though

saleency: i think i found their email but they haven’t responded yet

saleency: so

saleency: yeah

-

GuessIllDie: Hey.

saleency: is something wrong?

saleency: not that there has to be but

saleency: it’s not check in day

GuessIllDie: No.

GuessIllDie: Got the thing that got Dave.

saleency: what?

GuessIllDie: Flesh thing.

GuessIllDie: It’s dead.

saleency: oh

saleency: how do you know it was what got dave?

saleency: he wasn’t

saleency: was he

saleency: was it bad?

GuessIllDie: Found his clothes.

GuessIllDie: From what it was doing, he probably died fast.

saleency: i guess that’s better than the alternative

saleency: how did it die?

GuessIllDie: Didn’t take you for the bloodthirsty type.

saleency: that’s not what i meant

saleency: did you?

GuessIllDie: Did I what.

saleency: i just

saleency: i don’t know if it was an actual avatar or if that counts

saleency: and i’m just worried if you were the one that killed it

GuessIllDie: And if I was.

saleency: i don’t know

-

saleency: i’m not dead

saleency: also

saleency: i don’t actually care if you’re a hunter?

saleency: i mean i do i’m worried

saleency: but you’re still my friend and we’re the only ones left

saleency: so if you want to talk about it

saleency: or anything

-

saleency: could you please tell me you’re not dead?

GuessIllDie: I’m not dead.

saleency: thank you

-

saleency: also thank you for finding the flesh thing

saleency: i don’t think i ever actually said that

saleency: but it’s good to know for sure

-

GuessIllDie: If I’m going to feed one of these fuckers, I figure better the one that will let me fight.

GuessIllDie: If you can’t beat them, join one and beat the others.

GuessIllDie: Still means fewer monsters in the world.

saleency: that makes sense.

saleency: you’ll be careful?

GuessIllDie: Sure.

-

saleency: i’m going to go do something stupid

GuessIllDie: What?


	8. December, 2015

A small, old, pillared building, possessed of a “quiet dignity.”

It fits the description. Not quite how she’d imagined it, back listening to the eleventh episode, hungry for details of the world taking shape, but - yes, it is old. Yes, there are pillars, pale stone bracketing the stairs leading up to the door.

Yes, there is a sense of distance, of watching the world that passes and remaining aloof. 

She wouldn’t call it dignity, though.

Nicole takes a deep breath. Shivers in the chilly December air.

She lets her hand brush the copper plaque, just briefly, before she opens the door.

A woman looks up from behind a neat, professional looking desk, already setting aside the folder she was examining. “Hello, welcome to the Magnus Institute. How can I help you?”

“Hi.” Nicole nods, tries a smile. “I, um. I understand you record statements here? From people who’ve had supernatural encounters?” It trips out awkwardly, going through the motions of questions she already knows the answer to.

“We do, yes.” Rosie smiles back at her with a slightly distracted kindness. “I can set up an appointment for you to record your experiences, or I can check to see if we can take you right now.”

“I - yeah, that would be good. Please.”

“Wonderful.” Rosie picks up a different folder, shuffles out a small packet of papers. “If you could just fill out some basic personal information while I sort this out?”

Nicole is folded in one of the wooden visitor’s chairs, trying to figure out what to put down for her birth date, when she hears steps clicking on the tiled floor, just fast enough to earn the descriptor of hurried.

The man who rounds the corner is bland and businesslike. He looks to be middle-aged, hair cut stylishly, but short, and suit well-fitted. He might be a banker, or maybe a corporate type; nobody who would stand out on the streets of London.

He looks at Nicole, and she knows.

“Ah, miss Marsh!” he says, pleasantly enough. “Rosie, please adjust my schedule; I’ll be in a meeting for the next, hm, hour, I think.”

Rosie blinks, but nods. “Of course.”

“I was just going to give a statement -” Nicole tries feebly.

“Oh, I think that can wait.”

She can feel his gaze on her back as he escorts her to the stairs. They pass a few institute employees, carrying papers or cups of tea, who glance at them curiously before going about their business. Nicole wonders if she would know any of them by voice.

The stairwell is empty. This one must not lead to the basement; the only way to go is up.

“Are you going to kill me?” Nicole asks. Her voice only cracks a little.

Elias’s eyes gleam. “Why don’t we have this discussion in my office? I think it will be quite enlightening.”

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Unlooked-for](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21287924) by [novelDaydreamer](https://archiveofourown.org/users/novelDaydreamer/pseuds/novelDaydreamer)


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